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Definhando em violetas

     Tivesse eu a chance de me arrepender, me arrependeria de muita coisa, mas não realizaria nenhum desses arrependimentos.      Pois em perrengues que me vinham que geravam outros perrengues que me fizeram um eremita obrigatório para a ironia divina me fazer descascá-los monte abaixo privilegiada aos olhos de deus numa casa de aquisição minha.      Pelas antiguidades dos corpos que moravam aqui me encontro e me ponho entre as fendas decadentes para não ser só meu, vendo os gritos que nunca tive desmoldarem entre as muvucas da existência que me afastam de entendê-la, tangendo em cinco linhas procurando humanas serem e de todas elas eu ser.      As redondezas de Decapitã não são assim entretanto. Pelas pontilhadas figuras que dão vida ao horizonte inundado de nuvens, vivendo coisas que mal lembro de serem, mas em seus movimentos alimentam o medo que tenho do meu filho.      Pela história de ser alguém me perdi pe...

Ropes and chains break apart, as to not tie me

     Freedom, freedom can mean a thousand and one things, but one freedom that i find one of the most important freedoms is the freedom of thought, being able to think freely is a really important part of developing as a human being and not as a sheep in a herd. It's much more common for us to see brilliant minds in countries where freedom of thought is prevalent, and also not rare to see people being forced to or moving to those countries. 

    Albert Einstein is a prime example of this, forced to emigrate from Germany due to possibly and probably being persecuted by the German Reich, mainly for being born in a Jewish family, not for being Jewish as people might guess, but in the ignorant cult that was the high ranks of the Nazi party, just having Jewish blood is enough for being Jewish.

    But, you cant be free of thought if your mind doesn't lets you to be free; How can a mind restrain your freedom of thought? Lot of ways, mainly by being sleepy, be it from sleep schedule but also from medication. 

    I have no medical articles to back up what i am about to say (more to the contrary), but i do have my experience with medication, ever since i got diagnosed and started taking medication since pre puberty, the moments where i was forced to (because of not having the medication) or chose to myself stop taking it, i always had a clear head, or at least a clear thought, felt that i could do more in less time and more naturally, it shouldn't make sense but it somehow does?

    Is it a mind placebo? Maybe, some unknown effect of the medication on me? Statistically certainly not, but maybe it is? God(s)? I don't really care or think so but wouldn't complain if it was so. All i know is that i am living much better without having to schedule to take the equivalent of happy pills to stay happy, as i feel more and naturally so, i don't have depressive episodes at night because some medication stopped making as much effect as before, i am sad when the moments gets me so. 

    I am happy when somethings makes me so, i get angry as commonly as i do. I feel like regaining part of my humanity which is living as how as i may wish, which my wish has always been not taking medication, not that i despised taking them, they helped a lot before, but that's what they do, help, they don't and aren't supposed to fix your problems, and recently after fixing mine there was no need of such help anymore.

    I gained the freedom as most humans have of living without worrying of taking a white substance after lunch, knowing that such necessity isn't a necessity anymore is as gratifying as not needing to remember them. Showed that after so many highs and so many lows, the progress that i, just one more year till i can live alone, has surpassed many obstacles and only more determined to surpass more.

    For once a happy post, and the most genuine one, which surprises even myself.

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