Why you are? Is it a stupid question? of course, but why not? Why are you what you are, why not, the value of the question comes much more from how you handle the question then to the actual question, how do you interpret are? A doubt of value or an accusation of not even being? or an appreciation of are?
The values that being, that you may or may not, or even despise linking you to are, what is valid to being as to even link so? what should i even care of being, if all or most are? and who is that all? or most? do they even matter?
Submerging and drowning in the face of what even one is, is definitely a choice, voluntary or not, doubting the question, the questioner or yourself to such demise, but why? what is the value of drowning in the endless sea in search of an island, which may not even exist?
But then, drowning isn't fun, the innate life fear of seeing what's beyond drowning is not pleasant in the slightest, but the wishing, the wanting to go and end all the pain that comes with swimming and running and laughing and choking and achieving something. Only creates more and more dread.
And how does one fix that dilemma? Uncountable ways of course, be it from faith, or something, material or not, but removing the importance to the question of being is what i mainly favor for.
You can't control your feelings but you can mediate them, auxiliary them and give less or more reasoning for them to exist, walk aside them, feel and live with them. Being humble is not only an really emphatic action, but also a less demanding one, being happy for the 1 good day in the middle of 6 worse bottom barrel ones makes all other days less scrutinizing.
And that sometimes, most or not most, but definitely sometimes, there is no explaining, there is no Kant or Nietzsche that explains the misfortune of that day, no god or orixá that can mediate your pain and explaining as being justifiable for some greater learning cause, sometimes there is no lesson, sometimes there's only pain.
And accepting that sometimes there is only pain ironically makes it less painful, there is more then enough suffering in the world, and embracing that sometimes, most likely most times, it is because it is, is freeing as there is no reasoning to be. The absurdity of one demise being itself is absurd, but sometimes the absurd is the best answer for reality, and its fine.
