Originally posted on 04/08/2024, reposted on 16/09/2024
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As
my progressively increasing knowledge of english mainly in practice i
think is helping me write more clearly in that language, and also to
honor the original language of the book where i grabbed some of the ideas of this text, i will hope of getting more satisfied of passing the communication barrier that is language, so, without further ado:
Its
very plausible that for anyone in the 21th century with some degree of
following of any news or social media to have at least heard of
the term LGBT, for some a pride and joy and for others despise, and that
is something that i have always thought of maybe being included, even
went to write a whole deleted post about identifying with asexuality, but retracted that post and don't regret in any regards, maybe a little bit actually.
Why do i care about it is mainly my questioning, the main point of sexuality and gender in the homo sapiens as a species is for reproduction and nothing more, but if we aggregate all the socially constructed values that we have built by human history, there is a whole lot more.
Perfumes, dresses, suits, heels, lipstick, plastic surgery, "testosterone increasing methods", all that and a whole lot more is there to some degree to express gender, to express that we are XX or XY, that we are different from one label or the other label, and i don't have any reason to do that, i mainly use man's clothing but i am completely fine painting my nails or sitting in what most people call "the female way of sitting" (which is with the legs completely crossed, with one over the other), while also doing the other way, i mainly do them when i feel like it, which went to be the key of finding what is that i feel and can identify with.
I mainly feel as a man, but i can also feel as a woman at the same time, or another thing all together (even if really rarely), or two of those at the same time, its weird just writing this myself, but in the mind that is writing this it makes sense, it hopes so at least, but not that it goes to the point of me having the necessity of identifying as another gender, sometimes yes, but most times not at all.
And i contribute that mainly for me _not caring_ to what i identify, and also by not going by any problem of any more reasons to get slurs at by strangers, but with all that said:
In the bingo that is LGBT terms, the one that mainly fits what i feel is...:
Bigender!
Not a lot written about it, at most a stub in Wikipedia and in some wikis, as it gets to be a lump of categorizations all over the place, but gets right into the aim of what i am feeling, not something as fixed as genderfluid, but a all over the place, feeling one, or the other, or none. And it is something that i find pretty comfortable saying when having to explain something in that matter, and its all about that, comfort and recognizing yourself in the label, not the label in yourself.
How much will this change in my life? probably not a lot, but the little changes for the better are always appreciated.
16/09/2024
May depression or bad interactions not shatter what i identify as, its honestly a really shit text, but an important one that i removed from paranoia and bad contact with those who shall helped me in so, no one is black or white, all shades of gray